" I can treat you better than your ex, better than your next, and make sure that I'll be the best."
"Really now?""Yes ma'am. So I think you should pick me over them idiots."
"Really now? You don't even know if I like you."
"Then, let's find out now, do you?"
"Do YOU?"
"You're gay, I asked first."
"Girls don't answer first."
"Okay fine, I do."
"I do too."
We did not realize what was going on... him being different drew me closer and closer, sweeping me off my feet, and almost unlocking the buried treasure hidden beneath my heart. He made me feel sane and somehow, I just wanted him.
***
Well, I never really talked about my parents, now do I? Joshua Michael Vermo and Mae Vermo, married since July 5th 1981. Who are they in my life? Well, mentors, teachers, creator? Well, I owe them my life, for sure. I love them but there are times when we do have fights, arguments, and disagreements, and I take it all by heart. Oversensitivity? I guess so. My mother and I aren't as tight as we used to be, I guess. And we argue about every little thing.
And who became my get away from these bullshit? Him, John. He took care of me. I should tell you how he asked me out.
Well, I planned on running away that day. Why? For what reason? Overreacting over my parents. You can say that in my teen years, I "hated" my mom a lot. Why you ask? Well, I had my years, had my phases, and had the weirdest thoughts in my mind. It seemed to me as if, my mom never really cared about me and all that she had to say, was full of ignorance and stupidity. But, I digress. John offered to shelter me just for the night. He also joked that if I wanted to stay longer, I had to pay rent... but not by the usual means. Asshole.
Anyway, I ended up meeting his whole family, and his parents, seem to have this big expectations for him but he seemed so, respectful and tight with his family. His brother and sister? The cutest bunch of kids that I've ever met. Amazing kids. They took me in as if I was part of the family, already. They made me feel so... comfortable, like the warmth of a blazing fire in the middle of a winter camp. The comfort and the care they showed me, were... truly amazing.
I keep on digressing.
So, you're probably anxious to hear how he was going to ask me out.
We were lying down, at around 1:00 AM, watching, I think was Charlie and the Chocolate Factory? Well, it went off as this:
"Hey, wanna see something really amazing?"
"Uhm.. no, not really"
"Why do you have to be so gay? Look at this."
*shows text message on phone*
12:47 AM
Will you be my girl?
What was going through my mind? I have no idea. That was cheesy as hell though.
And obviously, I said yes, with a smile and a good kiss. Was I happy? Yes... but at the same time, I was scared.
He's such an amazing person. But I was the opposite of him. I'll end up hurting him eventually. How could I? I had no idea, but I risked it anyway. I thought to myself that it could work. Though, you should know one thing, we live on opposite side of the city. So yes, I was scared as hell.
But that's not it. The worse was just about to come. How?
Like this.
At a time where I thought I'll be happy with this guy, taking care of me and helping me out through everything, my doubts and anxiety probably brought me down. How? I was still scared of us, of my feelings, how everything is going to work.
On my way home, the day after, I saw James. Where about? Just around the terminal on my way to the bus. How did it go? Long story short, we talked, made out and I had a boyfriend already. How did I feel? I let the spur of the moment take over me.
Stupidity? Yes. Idiocracy? Yes.
Yes, I did realize that I hurt probably one of the most amazing guys I will ever go out with.
When I got home, after getting yelled at and being harassed by my parents, there was only one thought in mind, how am I going to tell him. More to that, my mother didn't exactly made it all better for me with saying, "John called and he was worried shitless over you. Call him".
And what did I do?
Well, I had to tell him. I had to be honest with him, it felt like he deserved at least that..
"So what do you want me to do?"
"I don't know. Its your choice. Get rid of me or not."
"Do you want me still?"
"Yes. "
I was scared shitless, actually. My heart was thumping, I didnt know what to do... Is he gonn just.. forgive me or did I hurt him that much already?
"I made my decision..."
And that was the last time I felt my heart pause and time stood still, as if God himself was judging me.
"Really now? You don't even know if I like you."
"Then, let's find out now, do you?"
"Do YOU?"
"You're gay, I asked first."
"Girls don't answer first."
"Okay fine, I do."
"I do too."
***
And who became my get away from these bullshit? Him, John. He took care of me. I should tell you how he asked me out.
Well, I planned on running away that day. Why? For what reason? Overreacting over my parents. You can say that in my teen years, I "hated" my mom a lot. Why you ask? Well, I had my years, had my phases, and had the weirdest thoughts in my mind. It seemed to me as if, my mom never really cared about me and all that she had to say, was full of ignorance and stupidity. But, I digress. John offered to shelter me just for the night. He also joked that if I wanted to stay longer, I had to pay rent... but not by the usual means. Asshole.
Anyway, I ended up meeting his whole family, and his parents, seem to have this big expectations for him but he seemed so, respectful and tight with his family. His brother and sister? The cutest bunch of kids that I've ever met. Amazing kids. They took me in as if I was part of the family, already. They made me feel so... comfortable, like the warmth of a blazing fire in the middle of a winter camp. The comfort and the care they showed me, were... truly amazing.
I keep on digressing.
So, you're probably anxious to hear how he was going to ask me out.
We were lying down, at around 1:00 AM, watching, I think was Charlie and the Chocolate Factory? Well, it went off as this:
"Hey, wanna see something really amazing?"
"Uhm.. no, not really"
"Why do you have to be so gay? Look at this."
*shows text message on phone*
12:47 AM
Will you be my girl?
What was going through my mind? I have no idea. That was cheesy as hell though.
And obviously, I said yes, with a smile and a good kiss. Was I happy? Yes... but at the same time, I was scared.
He's such an amazing person. But I was the opposite of him. I'll end up hurting him eventually. How could I? I had no idea, but I risked it anyway. I thought to myself that it could work. Though, you should know one thing, we live on opposite side of the city. So yes, I was scared as hell.
But that's not it. The worse was just about to come. How?
Like this.
At a time where I thought I'll be happy with this guy, taking care of me and helping me out through everything, my doubts and anxiety probably brought me down. How? I was still scared of us, of my feelings, how everything is going to work.
On my way home, the day after, I saw James. Where about? Just around the terminal on my way to the bus. How did it go? Long story short, we talked, made out and I had a boyfriend already. How did I feel? I let the spur of the moment take over me.
Stupidity? Yes. Idiocracy? Yes.
Yes, I did realize that I hurt probably one of the most amazing guys I will ever go out with.
When I got home, after getting yelled at and being harassed by my parents, there was only one thought in mind, how am I going to tell him. More to that, my mother didn't exactly made it all better for me with saying, "John called and he was worried shitless over you. Call him".
And what did I do?
Well, I had to tell him. I had to be honest with him, it felt like he deserved at least that..
"So what do you want me to do?"
"I don't know. Its your choice. Get rid of me or not."
"Do you want me still?"
"Yes. "
I was scared shitless, actually. My heart was thumping, I didnt know what to do... Is he gonn just.. forgive me or did I hurt him that much already?
"I made my decision..."
And that was the last time I felt my heart pause and time stood still, as if God himself was judging me.
lol, yes i'm reading..
ReplyDeleteCONTINUE maaaan ! :D
btw, you forgot the part where
ReplyDeletethe police called........ lol.
LOOOOOL, stephanie sanchez, gay :P
ReplyDelete