Joshua 1:9

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go. "

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Lost it.

Hey guys ! What is happening ! Snucks is here alive and breathing :)
Anyway, I am here to tell you guys a story, a wonderful story of life and losing things.
So, I lost.. something that I've had for the longest time now..
And even though I feel bad... all I can say is.. "GOOD RIDDANCE !!!!!!"

My computer officially died from a virus that took over my damn CPU ! Yes? YES !
BOOYEAH ! Now, for a new and better computer in which, I hope I will get.. in about 10- 20 weeks. So, for now, I'm on blogspot at school... Weird. Msn things on the Xbox 360, and the home phone is always open. I've had about.. 10 stalker phone calls from the past... 5 days ! YES ! I'm almost close into my goal of having.. 20 in 10 days :) LOL !

I have fans? I do hope so.

Anyway, I think I've lost interest in something that I've always been in, in my entire life.
Why?
I think it's because of the fact that I wouldn't want to complicate things now, that life is simple and happy, as I am.
I seem to see all the faults in them despite the fact that they're cool in the first place.

Are reasons coming up for me NOT to do anything or am I looking for a reason to not to? I really have no idea. But right now, life is simple, I'll go the way life goes by. Long distance - Maybe. Barely legal - Probably.

Eh. Impress me, and we'll see.
I still dont know. Let's hope for the best.

And for now, catch me on msn or call me up. No facebook and such as, for now.

Keep being amazing, self :)

Still Fly

Hate me, disown me, dislike me,
Like me, love me, adore me
But remember one thing,

(8) I'm sky high and I dare anybody to try cut my wings, I'm still pulling out a phantom, and these haters can't stand 'em, I'm still doing my thing.

I'll keep doing me.

Keep being amazing, self :)

Saturday, April 25, 2009

Posture.

Hello ! This is Snucks again :)
Hi guys !!

It's been a while.......
My precious.. internet...... :(

K, for those who don't know, my parents are being.. guh, Im not going to lie. They both can not seriously understand. And no lie, I can't live being here right now and I might just leave one of these days. Keep in tune for what might happen with my life, you creepers :) Anywho, they all decide to take off the damn internet and not let me use it, stupid? Yes, I think so too. For what? Nothing. So, for the next few days, it's going to be hard for me to actually post and talk to everyone in my msn list. I am really sorry guys. I swear, I will make it all up to you.

Anyway, do contact me at : 416 551 7983

Yes, that is open to anyone and everyone who reads my damn blogspot. You deserve my number if you read my blogspot. Call me, talk to me, say hi to me, just even say, "I'm your new stalker ! Hi !", but make sure that , even if you're an old pedophile, to actually use a voice-changer and make your voice sound like a cute girl 'cause.. I wouldn't like to get creeped out.. :)

So, business talks:

I'm designing a tee with the Snucks Logo. Yes, I have my own logo, I feel so happy. I made it up myself, in which the picture will be posted up really soon. On top of that, it will be on a tee plus some egotistic production things, if they want to. They are all in planning and designing phase right now. In a few weeks, as long as I stop procrastinating, I shall get them done, I hope. My deliveries of shirts today didn't come so I'm guessing, I'll get them by next week. For everyone who've seen the magical talens of the egotistic productions, please support us because one of these days, we'll have a break and we'll all famous and, just.. out there and I hope you all will have faith in us.

And here's a poem to leave ya off.

Through the eyes of a seventeen is the world of a twenty-four
His maturity level has gone straight to the sky in an hour
His life is going through a path full of choices within right and wrong
He can handle rejections and distractions because his might is too strong
The prize of success is the apple of his eye
And the limit of his pride? All the way to the top of the sky
But he also knows that your mental capacity to handle this is miniature like a bonsai
He knows that you think of him as a little ant with no success in life but failures like your math tests
And that won't stop him in achieving the best and being the highest
Do not detest him for he will only prove you wrong and make sure you cry
With your stupid assumptions and little intentions of making things work
He will break your mindset and bring back the works of a genius
Because who is he? Superman on steriods that has lost control and gone berserk
His name is Snucks and he'll make sure you eat your damn mother FUCK ing words.

Keep being amazing, self :)

Monday, April 20, 2009

Childish Acts

Childish Acts:

Out of everything, we put our mind into, we see that no one can stand right beside you
Only ones who can see through you and realize who you really are
How can you not see that? Because I’m far ahead mature
My life and my mind, it goes on so fast and learn the lesson of the past
Then moves on, because life moves on with the present
Because today is a gift, and we should not resent it
Just live it and love it like everyday is no reason to be sad with

Don’t worry about anyone or anything
Because life is about living
Without worry or fear, just happiness and cheer
This is what we are, and this is what we’ll do
Happiness forever is what will bring me to you

I don’t stay around for people who don’t live their lives
Never give up cause we will not cut our’s with knives
Just keep this sense of humour, and life
Because in the end, it’s all about ourselves and no one else
Get it?

They don’t think I can pass life over numbers that tell me who I am?
How ignorant can one be, when numbers rule what your life is going to be
The irony is clever when they say that we’re ignorant for believing certain stupidities
Yet, we all revolve around things like geometry and physics
Now I ain’t hating on physics, I’m getting straight nineties
But I’m looking forward in seeing Einstien, see?

I keep a smile on my face, regardless of what everyone says
Because this is my life, and it’s winner through the end of the race
I’m gonn keep on hanging, keep fighting for my life
Gotta live up on my own hype and realize that I’m full of life
HEY !

Find your place somewhere, cause that’s where you belong
Not anywhere else where everyone else will bring you down for everything you do wrong
We’re only human and we’re not perfect
So give it up cause I ain’t gonn keep on this neglect
I am human and I love to be happy
And I’ll only keep myself happy, while eveyrone’s stupid enough to keep themselves sobbing
Ha ha, I laugh at you fools and you’re stupidity
Because I am happy ! And only happy.

So cheer up now, regardless of what you do
They say heartless is a bad thing, I say, screw you !
I feel good in the inside, realizing that I am only happy
Because in life, there’s only one thing and that’s me
I feel good, doing what I do, because this is me, and not you !
You don’t know what I’m going through
So don’t judge me, I am only what you tell me to be so, hate on you
Not on me, this is how you brought me

Mature Thangs:

Only one who knows can understand what one doesn’t know
Don’t try to understand, but learn, so that we can all grow
Change is inevitable, it happens and all we can do is cope
Because none of us are perfect, not even the pope
So, I keep myself happy, and bring myself up
Since, for once in my life, I care, yet somehow, things screws up
But I don’t let that bring me down, because I’m always going to be happy
Regardless, no fight, no nothing can bring me down
Only for people who think life is a joke and we’re all clowns
And that’s me, so I’ll live my life and not sloppy
Only an understanding that I gotta keep myself happy
Smiling, everyday and anyday, and know that things are looking up
Cause the sun is bright and it’s bringing me up
I don’t take fights seriously anymore, it’s only a fight
Only an argument, but I still love
Though, I am now heartless with no care, I love my family
Only cause they’ve been through there anyday and everyday
But I ain’t good for them no more, so I gotta keep my distance away
And leavin off with a good note, and letting you know that you’ve brought me this way
So trust me when I say I know what I’m doing with my life
I’m not a kid anymore, I mature
Don’t let me end my life with a sharp knife
Though I will not try, don’t push me cause this is me
Don’t understand me, learn me
Because you’ll never understand me
I make mistakes but those mistakes don’t tell me who I am
I move on with life, and I’ll keep on going on
And for everyday, and anyday, I will be happy, keep a smile on my face
Because it’s a winner till the end of the race
Doubt me, hate me, dislike me, disown me
Love me, like me, fond me, and adore me
It don’t matter cause in the end, I’ll be happy

Keep being amazing, self :)

And oh, today was a good day, beating everyone else right in the face or in the eye. My bad yo. I'll stop defending too harsh :P Though, no girls were involved, loved the day anyway :) I might go downtown sometime this weekend and go to Mississauga so catch me if you see me. Say hi !!

And I redefine the Superman Logo. It is now, SNUCKS ! YEAHHHH !!! :)

Quotes of the day:

"In true love the smallest distance is too great, and the greatest distance can be bridged."
-- Hans Nouwens

"Do not try to change one who is not willing to. Change yourself and maybe, one will change."
-- Ms. Gigi Wharton, loving youth worker

Sunday, April 19, 2009

Dream.

Exhaustion;
The desperation of the brain to function properly.
I laid down as my conscience and subconscious mind have fallen to the depths of the abyss,
Brought to you by an epidemic of dramatic replays of the past.
Passed out, did my conscious mind do, and listen to nothing but the broken ode of dreams.

Dreams;
Fantasizing about a world full of fiction and broken anatomies of reality,
Brought by the works of an artisan willing to depict the ecstasy of an illusion
And the gore foundation of fictional facts that cheats us of the genuineness of the world.

The world;
There I was dreaming about intellectual beauty;
Beauty embedded in the thoughts of an effeminate mind.
The elegant thoughts that ease the pain yet seduces the most vigorous brain
That changes one's agony into an ever lasting joy of suffering and anxiety.

Anxious;
Emptiness ripped from the corpse of reality, yet trapped inside the world of fools.
Her image, stuck in the deep cortex of my mind could not resist temptation.
From the forlorn and beaten adventure of the brave heart,
I snatched the mere imagery of the intellect and surpass nonetheless, failure and disappointment..

Disappointment;
Awaken from another blind aspiration of bringing depression to myself,
And I knew she was merely one to bring pain and agony; I let her in, only to grasp nothing
But the broken pieces of a canvas whom the painter never had the chance to paint in.

Yet somehow, I dare, yet again, to dream some more.

Friday, April 17, 2009

Egotistic Productions: We Famous

Hello guys !

Snucks, here again, in this stupid blog, in this stupid world, in this stupid universe.... That sounded emo didn't it? LOL I keed.

Anyway, so, the last post about the girl who is apparently one of my friend's girlfriend.. well, guess what ! It wasn't her ! haha I so msged her and I felt like an asshole when she said, "yeah, you've mistaken me for someone else..." Yet at the same time, it felt so good knowing that the girl that I tried to chop, is actually not taken :) Good job for me? Do I deserve a high5? Yes, I do. SELF-FIVE !

Oh yes, so, the Egotistics went downtown today. It was actually fun. We went on a journey to finding the wonderful world of 7-11 and I swear, it was worth it. I loved the day today. We originally planned on going to the beach, that ended up us going downtown, then the beach again, then downtown again, which was weird. We had a really really good photoshoot today. Iris had her day (Y)

On top of that, we have planned our future projects. Let me just say that we have a few things coming up that will entertain you. I won't give it up, on what they were but I will assure you right now, they are so dope, you have no idea. I'll give you a hint on one of 'em: "What happens when everyone can read your life?" :D

Dope ass.

Anyway, though, I had a few weird encounters at both Tna and Aerie, the way was pretty much close into me, amazing :)

Keep reading and keep supporting us out.

Keep being amazing, self :)

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Good News and Bad News.

Hello, this is your friendly superhero, Snucks, saying Hi to my readers/fans/supporters/family and friends.

As you can see, Chapter 3 of my story is up. Its short, you know why? Just to build some more tension :) ... or because I'm procrastinating about it, which is NOT TRUE at all. It's for those people who "hate reading long things" yet can suck "long dicks" LOL I keed. I meant, for those people who hate reading long things, now you guys have no such excuse :) You can now read at least PART of the story... which is barely a paragraph. But hey, here's what you do, tell your friends about me, and as long as they read and comment about how stupid it is or how good it is, then everything is all well. I WILL post the next part of the story by Sunday, April 18th on 9:00 PM.

One more thing, also, read my emo poems haha They've been pretty.. emo. Weird eh? Well, it's going to change real soon because of what happened today. It's so much fun. Anyway, there will be more poems/freeverses to satisfy everyone's hunger for some LITERACY !

Anyway, so, good news and bad news for the day.

Good news first or bad news first? Let's go with the good news.

So, good news is, I have overcame my Yips and it is all gone. On top of that, I had a How I met your Mother Marathon yesterday which gave me well enough thoughts and ideas of how to become single AGAIN ! And to be honest, it felt really good. I actually met almost three people today, which is nice. I guess I did move on and I am over her. Finally? Yes sir. It was hard and painful BUT I made it. Do I deserve a high5? Yes, self five !

Wann hear the bad news now?

Well, here's how it went. So I got this girl in trouble at her work for talking to her, well, trying to get her number, no lie with that. I almost got kicked out of the damn store, actually. Well, when everything was all well and done with that, SINematic, who I was with for the whole day, told me that the girl is apparently a girlfriend of a friend of our's, but he wasn't so sure. So, I was skeptical about it and hoped that she actually wasn't. So, apaprently, she's friends with one of my closest almost family, friend and apparently she's his sister. What a small world, ain't it? Then, so I found out, with my ways.... ;) , that she was ACTUALLY the girlfriend of our friend... which is... really a fail in life :(

The irony of it all is that, a few days ago, superEGOtron was just telling us how everyone knows about her and her twin, which she does have and looks fairly as good as her since they ARE identical twins. And I didn't know her. Little did I know that I will, somehow meet her. Fate? Destiny? Karma? LOL

Well, that is all for now :)
Still want to know your name, girl in the pink.

Keep being amazing, self ;)

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Rebound, Chapter 3: Bamboozle

My face was dripping wet as it was covered in tears as he answered me. I basically broke his trust right even before he started trusting me. Stupidity was it? No, I call it idiotic, what I did. He opened his arms for me, yet it seemed to me as if I broke them just to push the blessing away from me. Yes, I have done this, and in the end...

ASHER ROTH'S ALBUM ! COP IT ON 4.20 !!!



This is Snucks, telling you to COP THE DAMN ALBUM OR ELSE !!
I'd support downloading but.. it's illegal.. so.. therefore.. I can not...
COTDAMNIT, COP IT, DO WHATEVER TO HEAR HIS SONGS, JUST MAKE SURE YOU HEAR 'EM ! GOT IT?! GOOD !

Keep being amazing, self :)

Monday, April 13, 2009

Girl in the Pink

Hey fans, readers and loving followers of my blogspot.

Snucks here, again, stopping by to say Hi ! - from Period 2 in Computer Science class...
I hate my teacher, with sagacious passion.
Haha, sag-acious... sags haha

Well, how am I doing, you might ask? I've been, well. Well enough to write this, at least.
I'm actually in the verge of getting sick. I can feel it.
And who got me sick? Angelo, SINematic, blame him. I swear, you should go to his blogspot, comment and go, "SHAME ON YOU FOR GETTING SNUCKS SICK !" :)
I'll love you forever if you do it :D

Well, we had a very.. weird adventure downtown, full of failures, in my side, at least.
I've caught the Yips yesterday, and you're probably curious what the hell the Yips is.

The Yips is when you overthink something and ends up not doing it because of overthinking such thing. It usually ahs a big meaning to it, most of the time, confidence issues. It actually exists, I'm not bullshitting you :)

So, anyway, I had way too many failures due to this.
Let me tell you the story.

The Egotistics went downtown for an amazing chilling. On our way there, we saw two girls, on which, I probably thought of asking their numbers. But, it really didn't matter to me, they weren't the best looking girls. I wasn't that interested. So, we were downtown just walking, minding our own business and we ended up going to Eaton's and loaft. When we got there, we ended up seeing a group of girls, three actually, one of them wearing a pink sweater, walking out. My creeper senses told me to follow them, on which we so didn't do. SINematic wanted to go to Urban Outfitters and look for things to buy since they do have some real dope things in there, like superEGOtron's "penis pokey" or the book, "She's just not that into you", that are usually in every other book store anyway, but we just ended up reading it in there. Anywho, we went in and guess who we saw ! The girl in the pink and her friends. Slu-ish me and my cocky self, wanted to actually talk to her and maybe ask for her number... Super Epic Fail. I was walking up the stairs and we both had our eyes locked on to each other.. Don't know how it happened, but we were both staring at each other. After then, I told SINematic that I'll chop them.. on which, in many cases that I could've, still did not. Why? I blame the Yips. Up to the point that they all ended up leaving and walking some more. And so, I did run after them, found them then lose them. But I did see her friend, stare at me and smiled at me, as if mocking me or such as. Or was she smiling because she thought it was cute that I ran after them? I dont know. But that girl in the pink.. I've lost my chance with her.. After running about, we then agian saw the two girls that I first mentioned about, and... failed again...


Well, the same thing happened with about five more other girls, in whom I lost my chance with but, out of them all, the girl in the pink stood out. Why? She just, had the "beautiful smile and stunning eyes", so immanuel would like to put in, my eyes have laid on.

And she's been in my mind ever since.

My God, I'll do anything right now just to see her again.
Oh please, God and Universe and whoknowswhatelseisoutthere, can I please see that girl in the pink again?

And I'm not a creeper !

Keep being amazing, self :)

Sunday, April 12, 2009

Superman

The beat of drums in my chest have stopped beating
And the flowing river in my veins has clogged up
Where did my heart go?

The thought of making up and fixing up has stopped coming by
And the sounds of goodbyes, no more does it bring tears in my eyes
Where did my heart go?

The painful lies and deceits does not break my hopes nor bones no more
And the insane amount of tries and failures, no more does it keep me indoors
Where did my heart go?

And now that it has gone missing...
Does that make one an empty shell?

When a poet's life turned into a blank canvas where words cannot paint
And painter's colors of the world only write gibberish

Does that make one an empty shell?

When a police officer has realized that his world is perfect, with no crime at all
When the criminals stopped comitting crimes because they have it all

Does that make one an empty shell?

When a philosopher has found all the truth in the world,
And all questions were answered and no more room for anything to be solved

Does that make one an empty shell?

When a stargazer has moved in the city, only realizing that the smog covers the sky and brings no star at night
Or when a soldier enlisting in the army only realizing that peace has been brought and there's no one else to fight

Does that make one an empty shell?

How about losing your heart to one of the only people you took seriously, realizing that in the end, he or she will give up on you, crushing your heart into million pieces, shattered on the floor, stomped down into pieces of diamonds, so small that the naked eye cant see.*

Does that make one an empty shell?

How about when a sex addict or a whore has fucked everyone in the world and has lost the meaning of having sex, and getting borred at the fact of doing it over and over again.

Does that make one an empty shell?

When every word in a crossword puzzle has been found
And a musician have heard all of the world's sound

Does that make one an empty shell?

Because right now, I am cold and heartless
No more meaning, in acing a simple physics test
Or even trying to fix a broken vase
Not even living my days like it was my last

Does that make one an empty shell?



* Did not happen to me, I swear LOL Not the 'crushign your heart into a million pieces shattered on the floor, stomped down into pieces of diamons' part at least

Saturday, April 11, 2009

The Thought of The Snucks.

Broken pieces of a thought that has lingered into my mind
Like shards of a broken glass, be cautious or be cut deeply inside
About the hazards of the words that are embedded deep behind
the subconscious mind; the conscious just died.
One seem to speak of the less truth in their thoughts and more of the dream thoughts,
And not the real truth of a man that lies, only to live an honest life
Because thoughts, fear for judgment to be brought
There's less likely of a thought rather than an ending with a slit of a knife
Because people who have thoughts were killed and assassinated
While none of us exactly know how to think right
When everyone else is aggravated with what to do when their minds disintegrated
With propaganda that tells us not to speak and just fight
None of us exactly know how to act, and we still run away from that fact
Or should I say, that thought, because we always run away from the thoughts that speak the truth
Since the thought of living a lie brings chills from our head to our sacs.
The cold front of fear that runs down our spines when we find out that truth has no ruth.
We don't think because we are scared of our thoughts and the truth that it behold.
Fear of finding out that the life that we live are all lies and deceit.

Now tell me, how can you tell me to think before I act?
When all my thoughts are about giving you all the lies in the world to make you feel bad.
And make you feel the pain that I feel, when you're not around.
Let you know that these thoughts were better left hidden than found.

Because I lied to ya.
Only because I needed ya.
And you weren't there, like I was.
When I was "sick" and when "someone was taking care of me."
Yet I still said yes, when you wanted to be free.
When I know I only said that to make you feel bad.
And here I am, nowhere to be found only dead, and sad.
I needed ya, yes need.
Like a hungry african, waiting for food to feed his kids.

And my first thought was, I think I found the one.

Here I am, living my lies and leaving the thoughts embedded inside.

Friday, April 10, 2009

Neil Patrick Harris is my new idol

Something to get away from the world of Anne Marie, James and John.

"For the last time, you can't be in love with Robin and be sleeping with every bimbo on the planet.You have to choose right now."

NPH: I choose Bimbo.

"What?!"

NPH: Hey, Lily, bimbos make me happy. Bimbos make me feel alive. Bimbos make me want to pretend to be a better man. This whole thing ... but at the end of the day, my heart belongs to bimbos.

"No, no, this is just a defense mechanism just because you're afraid of getting hurt. You're just confused."

NPH: "Oh, I'm not confused, Lily. You know who is confused? Bimbos. They're easily confused. One of the thousand little things that I love about them. I love their vacant trusting stares, their sluggish mind and their unresolved daddy issues. I love them, Lily and they love me. Bimbos have always been there for me, through thick and thin, mostly thin, big men dont do thick cross."

Damnit, Neil Patrick Harris is my new idol.

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Rebound, Chapter 2: Number One

" I can treat you better than your ex, better than your next, and make sure that I'll be the best."
"Really now?"
"Yes ma'am. So I think you should pick me over them idiots."
"Really now? You don't even know if I like you."
"Then, let's find out now, do you?"
"Do YOU?"
"You're gay, I asked first."
"Girls don't answer first."
"Okay fine, I do."
"I do too."


We did not realize what was going on... him being different drew me closer and closer, sweeping me off my feet, and almost unlocking the buried treasure hidden beneath my heart. He made me feel sane and somehow, I just wanted him.

***


Well, I never really talked about my parents, now do I? Joshua Michael Vermo and Mae Vermo, married since July 5th 1981. Who are they in my life? Well, mentors, teachers, creator? Well, I owe them my life, for sure. I love them but there are times when we do have fights, arguments, and disagreements, and I take it all by heart. Oversensitivity? I guess so. My mother and I aren't as tight as we used to be, I guess. And we argue about every little thing.

And who became my get away from these bullshit? Him, John. He took care of me. I should tell you how he asked me out.

Well, I planned on running away that day. Why? For what reason? Overreacting over my parents. You can say that in my teen years, I "hated" my mom a lot. Why you ask? Well, I had my years, had my phases, and had the weirdest thoughts in my mind. It seemed to me as if, my mom never really cared about me and all that she had to say, was full of ignorance and stupidity. But, I digress. John offered to shelter me just for the night. He also joked that if I wanted to stay longer, I had to pay rent... but not by the usual means. Asshole.

Anyway, I ended up meeting his whole family, and his parents, seem to have this big expectations for him but he seemed so, respectful and tight with his family. His brother and sister? The cutest bunch of kids that I've ever met. Amazing kids. They took me in as if I was part of the family, already. They made me feel so... comfortable, like the warmth of a blazing fire in the middle of a winter camp. The comfort and the care they showed me, were... truly amazing.

I keep on digressing.

So, you're probably anxious to hear how he was going to ask me out.

We were lying down, at around 1:00 AM, watching, I think was Charlie and the Chocolate Factory? Well, it went off as this:

"Hey, wanna see something really amazing?"
"Uhm.. no, not really"
"Why do you have to be so gay? Look at this."
*shows text message on phone*

12:47 AM
Will you be my girl?

What was going through my mind? I have no idea. That was cheesy as hell though.
And obviously, I said yes, with a smile and a good kiss. Was I happy? Yes... but at the same time, I was scared.

He's such an amazing person. But I was the opposite of him. I'll end up hurting him eventually. How could I? I had no idea, but I risked it anyway. I thought to myself that it could work. Though, you should know one thing, we live on opposite side of the city. So yes, I was scared as hell.

But that's not it. The worse was just about to come. How?
Like this.

At a time where I thought I'll be happy with this guy, taking care of me and helping me out through everything, my doubts and anxiety probably brought me down. How? I was still scared of us, of my feelings, how everything is going to work.

On my way home, the day after, I saw James. Where about? Just around the terminal on my way to the bus. How did it go? Long story short, we talked, made out and I had a boyfriend already. How did I feel? I let the spur of the moment take over me.

Stupidity? Yes. Idiocracy? Yes.
Yes, I did realize that I hurt probably one of the most amazing guys I will ever go out with.

When I got home, after getting yelled at and being harassed by my parents, there was only one thought in mind, how am I going to tell him. More to that, my mother didn't exactly made it all better for me with saying, "John called and he was worried shitless over you. Call him".

And what did I do?

Well, I had to tell him. I had to be honest with him, it felt like he deserved at least that..

"So what do you want me to do?"
"I don't know. Its your choice. Get rid of me or not."
"Do you want me still?"
"Yes. "

I was scared shitless, actually. My heart was thumping, I didnt know what to do... Is he gonn just.. forgive me or did I hurt him that much already?

"I made my decision..."

And that was the last time I felt my heart pause and time stood still, as if God himself was judging me.

Monday, April 6, 2009

Rebound, Chapter 1: The Beginning

Well, I did promise to tell you guys all about my life.
Well, let's start two years ago.
Where was I?

I was in..

"James, listen to me. I'm hurting 'cause of you !"
"Really now."
"Yes, and you don't even care. I can leave you right now, and I swear, you won't even care."
"Then leave."
"What the fuck James, seriously. You can't even make shit work?!"
"Seriously, Marie, I dont need this bullshit."
*hangs up*

Yeah..

That was me two years ago. That was James, my ex-boyfriend now. Well, yeah, since I did call him my "ex-boyfriend", we did break up. He could be such an asshole, one time he would make me happy, and one time he would just tear it all apart.

A little history about me. I went out with a lot of guys, no lie. Stephanie calls me a slu for it, I dont know why. And I gotta admit, I never like to be the one losing after a break up, I do move on real fast. How many, you might ask? Well, let's not count. Not that I lost count, its just.. a lot. My best one? Well, him but before I met him, Ralph. Ralph was my boyfriend about three years ago. An on and off relationship that lasted for at least eleven months. Why was he my best one? Well, he was there, family-wise, bullshit-wise, we stayed around and actually tried to make it work. I just.. got tired of him, I guess, with all the bullshit that he put me through. He was only the best one until he beat him.

Well, the little fire that me and James had was extinguished and blown off by the gusting wind of both bullshit and ignorance. I tried my best to make it work, but somehow, he gave up on us. In the end, he basically left me hanging for about a month, then breaks up with me after 6 months. Yes, I was sad about it. He --

*msn messenger pops up*

John: What happened with James?

Yeah, and well, he was there all the time. Throughout the relationship, I kinda depended on him for help and he was there to help me through.

Me: He broke up with me.
John: Why?
Me: I dont know. It's done with. I don't wann talk about it.
John: Well, I'm here for ya if you need anything.

Yes, we're talking about the creeper looking guy here whom I ended up giving my number to. Somehow, he cared about me and james more than james ever did. Its pretty weird. My first impression of him, was somewhat wrong. There's something about him that makes you feel so comfortable, like a warm sensation of comfort rushing through your skin everytime he's around. Something so different about him.

"John, I hate my life."
"Really? Why?"
"Everyone's an idiot. In the end, everyone leaves."
"Not me. I'm different. I'll be here for you no matter what."
"Yeah, that's what they all say at first, then they all leave."
"I'm not going to leave you."
"One day, you will. You'll get tired of me, and you'll leave."
"No, I won't. I promise you, no matter what. I'll hold you down."

Tell me how a guy can say that over the phone? Ha ! What did I say about something different about him? But to be honest with you, was I supposed to believe him? Somehow, somewhere, a feeling in me believed everything he said. He makes things all better. He.. probably is different.

"You know what happened?"
"What?"
"Someone thought I was chinese again."
"I told you, admit it already"

And oh, how can I forget, he's also an asshole.

I got over James pretty fast and moved on and forgot about him.
I think it had to do this conversation:

Stephanie: Sister, what's up?
Marie: Nothing. I think I like him

Yeah...

Creeper-face. Fml.

Sunday, April 5, 2009

Introduction: Rebound

Once, in life, something you deserve will come but will you take the chance to grab it? New people yet the story seem so old to me, as if dejavu, happening again. Is this fate destined? It's your choice to prove it right or wrong. Hear my story out...



"Hey, before I forget about this, have you met John?"
"Uhm.. no"
"Okay, Ann Marie, this is John, John, this is Ann Marie."

My first impression of him? Well, he's just like any other guy, custy face of a hoodrat, preppy clothes, shaved head, not hot at all, not even cute and he has this idiot vibe.

"Hey, I'm John. Stephanie, is she single?"

Okay, what did I say about the idiot vibe? That was creepy as hell.

"No. Shut up, John, don't do it."
"Do what?"
"That thing of your's. (Turns to me) Marie, don't worry, he's a nice guy just a tad creeper"

Yes, he kinda had that creeper vibe too.

"Shut up Steph! Don't listen to her. I'm amazing, she's just mad 'cause she picked her ex over me ! And where is he now? I don't know. Do you see him around? haha"
"John, shut up ! Forget Andrew!"
"Sucks for you eh? If you just picked me over him haha"
"Shut up ! Well, here, mingle with marie, I gotta go get something."

Did I want to talk to him? No, not really. So you could've just guessed what I did.

"So, marie, how do you know Stephanie?"
"Uhm.. she's a friend. One sec okay? I gotta go to the ladies' room. STEPHANIE ! COME WITH ME !"

So, I found an excuse to get away from the creeper lookin' guy.

"Stephanie.."
"Yes, my loving sister?"
"WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?!"
"What?"
"Okay, you know, he looks like a creeper. On top of that, what was he talking about?"
"Oh, I had a little thing going on with him.. and yeah, I picked Andrew over him.."
"Uh huh.. And I pick my boyfriend, James too."
"God! Okay, Marie, just a friend okay?"
"Mmmhhhmm"

And that's how I met him. I'd tell you the whole story but somehow it revolved around my failure of pushing him away. I don't know but somehow, it all came down into him hitting on me way too much and me giving my number to this creeper anyway. FML.

I met him two years ago..

Oh man, I'm sorry, I always forget doing this. My name is Anne Marie Vermo. I live my life near the Villa Colloseum in Rome. Yes, the wonderful Italy. Then, you'll probably think I'm italian right? That's not as bad as those people who think I'm chinese because of my eyes. I'm actually Filipino. My parents came from Canada and moved to Rome, because this is both their most favorite place in the world. Romantic, ain't it? I can speak Italian and you're probably thinking that it's Italy and all we do, is eat pizza and spaghetti for breakfast, dinner and lunch. Not true. I eat Filipino food all the time. I am 18 years old and I was born here. My birthday was 5 days ago and it was fun, I guess. I go to a school here called St. Francis de Assisi. The weirdest thing ever, I don't know if you have this in your countries but my school is ran by nuns and priests and such as. So, you can just guess how we're supposed to act and how much we pray in a day. It's a pain but I gotta do it. I want to be an architect, since I love how the buildings and monuments in Italy are desgined. It's so fascinating. Now, I sound like a nerd. Well, I'm doing all this for my future. I planned my life already, be an amazing mother, take care of my kids, work hard. Husband? Well, I'll tell you all about my love life soon. Stephanie is my close friend. I love her to death. She's my sister, without the blood relations. I always feel small around her, she's 5'7'' and she plays basketball. And she's planning to leave me for Team Europe.

Well, that's me and that's my life.
Not all of it, I still got to tell you a lot, especially when I lost...

...him




K, that's the first part :)

One last thing,
When you see my face, hope it gives you hell
When you walk my way, hope it gives you hell

And truth be told, I miss you
And truth be told, I'm lying


:)

Saturday, April 4, 2009

Freeverse and Poetry

Back when the world was so cruel and life was so cool//
While we waste all the fuel and and act like a fool//
Broken promises and inadequate choices//
While we keep partyin' and talkin' to inanimate objects//
Taking bullets for loudmouths and useless noises//
For supressing our own voices and actin' like toy soldiers//
Walkin' out in file while they shoot us in tens and thousands//
With propaganda and bullshit advertisement about the sand man//


Blehh, couldn't finish it.
And, story coming up real sooon.
I'm just way too lazy to type it out right now.
For sleeping at 3:30 AM last night..
And realize how that verse was the first thing in my mind..
It dont even make sense to me, but hey, its a verse :D
A way to get away from the past few "emo-posts" :)

k, edit:
So, the crack addict fam came down here once again, though we had a few failures in plan.
It was so weird, since I had to call at least 10 people just to get some shit..
And either, I dint have enough money to get some or.. they din't have some sht for the money that I got
Which was a fail.
And when I did find someone, it was kinda.. scary and untrustworthy, and yeah, its fckin weird.

So, we ended up watching Def Jam poetry, and I just.. felt like writing a poem
So, here we go..

Walking down the streets of hell, I see an angel
So fly and her wings so tight
Walking down, bringing the light with her
And I almost fell in love with her
Her light intoxicated my darkened heart
Broke the stone that Medusa dearly stared at
And I enjoyed her goddess look, that brought me joy
Not pain or suffering, but hope
And love, that meaning I surely have forgotten
A little dosage of her sight got me addicted
Foreign words that she can speak, I have understood
And all she said was,
"You're still in hell."


Friday, April 3, 2009

Marcus The Marshn

This blog post all for my love, Marcus.

Okay, well, The Egotron has realeased his very first single.
No doubt, Snucks and Angelo will be collabing with him for a remix.
Real soon.

But for now, you should check the song in his blogspot.
I'll even make it easier for you.
Copy and paste this: http://superegotistic.blogspot.com/2009/04/finite.html

It will be posted in the egotistic productions blogspot.
And it WILL have a music video, we promise.

It's Over - John Legend

Real talks one last time:

Number One: The post before this and it wasn't all a waste. Thanks.

Number Two: Though, I've been distracted, Snucks is finally back with the fun and games.

Number Three: Let's go to Japan. Let me dip my Tempura in your Tempura sauce.

Oh, one last time...

I love you so much...
















self

Thursday, April 2, 2009

Real talks

Dropped.

If you can't see that, then man, you blind.

Oh, one more thing: BURN IN FUCKING HELL ! :D

All the single ladies...

...put your hand up LOL

This is me.
I enjoy doing me.
Yes, doing me.
Everything is all well and everything feels great.

And just for that, you you have to see me at my greatest:



And just for that, I'm going to post up a good drink recipe:

Alien Urine

Ingredients:
1/2 oz Midori Lemon Liqueur
1/2 oz Peach Schnapps
1 oz Malibu Coconut Rum
1 part Sweet and Sour
1 part Orange Juice

Directions:
Use a tin shaker. Mix Midori, Malibu and Peach Schnapps all together. Shake. Add juices. Shake again. Pour into a Collin's glass. Garnish with either two red cherries or a kiwi wheel.

Note: This drink is usually poured in a 16 ounce glass but you can pour it on a Collin's glass too.

And one more thing, LYLE BENIGA = Lovegasmic

And well, once again, check out the Egotistic Productions Blog:
http://egotisticproductions.blogspot.com
Check out Marcus The Marshn's Blog:
http:// superegotistic.blogspot.com
Check out Angelo, our loving photographer's blog
http:// illicitdesire.blogspot.com
And check out Immanuel's blogspot:
http:// islegaspi20.blogspot.com

On top of that, I think I'm going to love my life like this.
No pressure, no stress.

Currently Listening to: No Woman, No Cry - Bob Marley

Woot !

Amazing day ain't it?
Use April's fool day to do shit.
It's amazing.
No school tomorrow, thank God.

So, do I believe her or not?
And even if I do, what will that do for me?

On the better side of the note, I actually talk to her now.

ON the WAY better side of the note, I found whatsyourface.

Nice eh? :)
I love it.
And what do I do?
Seriously, it's weird.
Lost my respect.

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

One.

Caught myself sleeping on the phone.
With who?
With one who share this moment with me.
April 1st.

A lot of things were said, and now, I still can't believe it.
It's all happening again.

Maybe, you're right.
Maybe, I should.

What do I do?

More to that, check out Immanuel Legaspi's blogspot: islegaspi20.blogspot.com
He writes some REAL SHIT, no lie.
Promoting that shit right from Snucks.
Better fucking appreciate that shit.

Anyway, still listening to Green Light by John Legend.
And my story is coming up well.

Here's a sneak preview:

"Once, in life, something you deserve will come but will you take the chance to grab it? New people yet the story seem so old to me, as if dejavu, happening again. Is this fate destined? It's your choice to prove it right or wrong. Hear my story out..."

Well, let me say it now that, the story is in a girl's perspective of things.
The story has real people's names, real situations and such as, but keep in mind, that it is fictional.
Then again, I'll leave your smart minds to interpret the story to yourself.

Anyway, I dont know if I should say, keep wasting my time or stop wasting my time.
I'll let you figure that out.
But hey, I'm still way MORE AMAZING than your damn time :)