Joshua 1:9

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go. "

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

It's different, this time.

I think it'll be stupid in my part, if I were to stop now.
More to that, it would've been extremely idiotic if I were to be brought down now.
I got it this far, thanks to Him.
I think I'll have to be one-sided-boob-brained-idiotic-tard if I were to not deal with it, let this go and be a fuck ass.

I'm a Champion.
A walking expertise in what I do.
I will not back down and I will aim higher.
I will beat myself totally until this day will no longer seem like just any other day.
But everyday, instead will be another day to bring amazing to another level.
For everything I have said, I have followed through.
And I will make sure that this will be different.
I will make it happen, in His permission.
Things will change. Prayers move mountains. God changes people.
And I, as an instrument of God, will change things, people and move mountains.
Because I believe that this is all worth the trouble.

It will happen, just like everything else, in His permission.
I believe in you. I believe in Him. I believe in me.
I believe in us. I believe in my family. I believe in my bros.
I believe.

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Almsot there.

Everything is paying off now.
And I'm just happy, that it was all worth the wait.

Monday, June 15, 2009

Nise. I cee wat u did thar.

So, they all go, "What happened to you? Can you stop the emo posts?"
And I go, "Yes I can. But do I want to stop? :)"
Then they all went, "I don't know. It's tiring reading the same shit over and over again."
So I'm all like, "Okay, fine !"

So how about this.
Your mom ! LOL !

I am so loafting on life, it's not even funny.
I think I should be sued for loafting WAY too much.
The funny thing is, I'm loafting on SOMETHING stupid ahaha

Okay, so what's next? Are you in or out?




Sunday, June 14, 2009

Me No Comprende.

Okay, so this is something I realized a while back.
And the weird thing about this is that, this keeps me from moving on.
How about this, I'm always on the verge of giving up.
And at the time that I do want to give up, good things happen that keeps me around.
The weird thing about it is that, it didn't happen once, or twice or three times but it happened about 5 times now.
I think I'm not supposed to give up on her.

Thank You God.
I'm getting my haircut today :D

Friday, June 12, 2009

I'm TIRED !

Fuckin' exhausted with life.
Somehow, not really.
But, I don't wann be here right now. I'd rather be.. somewhere far away where people that matter enjoy themselves near the beach while drinking Pina Colada.

Hail Holy Queen.

Mother of Mercy.
Hail of our life and of our sweetness and of our hope.
To you do we cry, poor banished children of eve.
To you do we send out our cries.
Mourning and weeping in your valley of tears.
Turn then most gracious advocate.
Thy eyes of mercy towards us, and after this our exile.
Show unto us the blessed fruit of your womb Jesus Christ.
Oh clement, Oh loving, Oh sweet Virgin Mary.

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Lead.

To lead.
And I seem to have failed that one just today.
Oh man.
How today made me realize.
Words are just words. Actions are just actions.
They're also called illusions when meant without passion.

It's getting harder and harder by the moment. No lie.

Best I've Ever Had

"You're my MJ, you're my jump man
You make my heart jump, man."
- superEGOtron

Sorry, I just had to complete the circle.
Angelo told me a funny story right when I woke up and then, Immanuel told me a funny story right when I got on facebook. Then God told me a good story, through my Horoscope? LOL ! So I just had to bring in Marcus :) It's going to be a great day. Actually scratch that, it's going to be A GREAT WEEK !! :)

Love you <3
That was for Marcus, Immanuel, Angelo and God :D

Boo... YEAH !

Well, today was unexpectedly charming.
The Egotistic Productions founders got together today in Starbucks to discuss our upcoming projects and how it's all going down.
One thing is for sure though, there WILL BE a CAST PARTY at MY HOUSE on SATURDAY, JUNE 20th, 2009. It's A MUST TO BE THERE, FOR ALL THE CAST.

I think I have informed everyone of who's going to be in the video. And I doubt I've informed you of your role since we just talked about the roles today. The sets and such are almost done.

Oh yes, note to self: I need to get those permits done.

This is going to be SO BOMB.

On top of that, today was pretty nice. Nice conversations with people, I guess. But I can not be content with what I got now. I gotta keep fighting and striving for the best. Why? Because champions don't settle down for something that's less than the best. They go for the BEST THING. And I think I know what the best thing is, in this case. Therefore, I do think that I will keep on striving to achieve that greatness that I feel the need to go for. Of course, all done in God's time and God's will. Godspeed. Patience is a virtue. Hail Holy Queen.

Anywho, I shall go sleep now.
Good night :D

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Another One.

One more.
I think we've both lost what our eye on the prize.
Here, let me help you get up.
Realize a few things.
Most of all, realize that you can be doing better.
Do not let it get to you.
You know that.
C'mon now, these are all easy shit.
Don't get carried away.
Yeah, okay, so there are times when you do feel like bullshit, but c'mon, you're an amazing kid.
Regardless of what's going to happen, at the end of it all, you're going to have something worth spending that much time for.
Remember, He said yes. He pushed you here. He brought you here. This is what He wants.
So yes, you're going to go through a lot. You have to carry it all. I know that.
But you're not alone. I am here for you. Anytime, everytime. I'll help you through it.
Every step of it, every moment of it and together, we will conquer the oppression.
Remember, we're Champions !
Champions do not give up, they do not lose. Champions make sure that everything else around will be obsolete.
We will stand tall, walk with pride and be in glory. We will keep standing.
Watch us.

There's always an exception to the rule.
And that's me.
I will prove this shit to you

12:06 PM

The nights are long.
And somehow, the day was too.
It wasn't a good day.
Nor was it, a great day.
It was less of an amazing day, but it was alright.
I have a feeling that I'm just about to endure quite a lot in the next few days.
I hope this will get better.

-- Edit

Somehow, seriously, God has His way of making me feel better.
I dont know why he does it though.
And why not just let me, get on with my life already.
But..
I was looking through google for the randomest things.
So I typed in "advice"

And I saw this: http://lifefromthetoaster.blogspot.com/2007/11/advice-for-today.html
And I shall quote a few things that I actually enjoyed reading:

"
Have faith, but remember that faith makes things possible, not easy. Failure only happens when you fail to try."

"Don't waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long and, in the end, it's only with yourself."

"If the going gets tough, never stop, just shift down and keep moving and remember there is always someone, somewhere, fighting a similar battle or worse."

"In all things trust the Lord."

Oh Lord, why do you do this?

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Finals.

This is the finals.
The score? 2-0.
You're the Lakers and you're winning.
It took a hell of a job to do so, but you've done it.
Now, you're almost there.
It's not the time to slack off, the championship ring is THAT close.
I know you're tired and I know you're exhausted, but this is not the time to get some rest.
Take a break, a few minutes or so but get back in there as fast as you can.
Keep getting better and better and better.
You have to beat their asses down so hard they wouldn't have wished they lived this day.
It's close enough that you can smell and taste the feeling of being a Champion.
You are JUST THAT CLOSE.
Last year, you lost.
This time, it won't happen again.
Play hard and play tough.
Keep fighting.
At the end of it all, it's going to be worth it.
It won't be all done but at least you're just that much closer.
Another day and another way to be amazing.

Thank God.

Monday, June 8, 2009

Amnesia.

The nights are long and the days seem so short.
Her memory of me is well faded by the ocean stream of unconsciousness and vulnerability.
And another story is yet to come.

Forgetting.

Writer's Block.

I am having a writer's block right now.
Right beside my black brother from another mother.
And he's beside a girl whos looking at random pictures.
I am dying in pain of my head that is hurting.
I think I need some... action.
You know, the action in your life? :)

Love you too <3

You Again?

Kiss me through the phone.
Without Soulja Boy's verses.

Imn: You know why he(Mr. Anthony) mad?
Me: Why?
Imn: He mad cause we have hair !
Me: LOL

Bah, I can't do this yet.
Not just yet.
A little bit more, just a little bit more wait.
Patience is a virtue.
I need to have it.
Just breathe, take a breather.
We're not in the game yet, still sidelined.
Just play your part, keep yourself out.
Stay away as much as possible.
Despite whatever everything is saying, stay out.
Do NOT get in somewhere you don't know if you'll get in for sure.
Just, calm down. Relax. Breathe.
Keep focus.

Saturday, June 6, 2009

Def Jam

My very very first poem written in facebook then transferred to blogger.

What's real.

Once I met myself, a little boy down the street of whoknowswhere.
Lost in the middle of the crowd, searching for the meaning of whats real.
Inside the mind of an empty shell that brings the reality of an intellectual.
Hidden beneath the embedded wall of pride, through the society of recklessness
And abundance of abusive reputations, right between the insecure lies
And the mentality of victimized addictions, In front of the population's Chameleon nature; fit in and hide or stand out and die and right below the alleyways of anxiety and the easy negativity of thoughts.
Is the glimpse of what is real. The living truth. The caption is 'The Champion'.
And the legend feel, to stand out without the aggravation of other people's opinions.
The reputation of a god walking through the path of dead consciousness
But only the living egotistical pride of knowing that one is beyond its measure of independence and awesomeness.
To be true to yourself and not let others or anything else bring you below the expected function of one self.

The champion.
Julius Caesar, Winston Churchill, Albert Einstein, Picasso, Leonardo Da Vinci.
Next one should be your name.

Wow.

LOL ! I feel so happy.
I'll tell you why.
I had such a mofckin good sleep.
Gawsh, I think that's all that my body has been needing.
A good rest and a good sleep :)

Getting back up and walkin' this shit down.
Watch me.

I will not fail.
I will remain champion.



Overdosage.

I just overdosed, again.
Those kinds that make you wann' stab someone.

But, somehow, Marcus calmed me down.
I guess, because he's fuckin amazing.
And it just somehow, rubbed on me.

But what he said was true.
Worth fighting for.
I already got this far, why would I want to turn back now?
I just.. need to get a bit better.
I'll keep beating myself.

I said that right?
It'll involve a lot of hardwork, heartbreaks and a lot of bullshit.
But, that's what will make me stand above the rest.
Either, I'm really fucking stupid or I'm just that amazing.
I'll pick the latter.

I still wish today was a tad better.
It'll just get worse from here on end.
And well, the stupid one will reign champion.
Are you stupid enough?

Friday, June 5, 2009

Nightmares.

Somehow, I'm getting a big dose of nightmares. Why? I have no idea at all.
I woke up today feeling so startled by the things around me.
Yesterday, I woke up feeling so startled again.
I couldn't even get myself together. I couldn't even sleep properly.
I was scared to sleep. I didn't sleep until.. about 3 or 4 last night.

I am a walking zombie right now.

I can't find the reason why I'm feeling this way.
I think the anxiety of the situation that I'm in is what's making me like this.
My impatience that is embedded deep inside me.
Oh how I can only ask God for some more.
And the fear of losing.
Oh how I can only ask God for some courage.

I was supposed to go to that party today, and I have no idea if I should go or if I should just flake.
I'm feelin' kinda uneasy 'bout my whole day.
But I gotta keep myself together. I gotta keep myself close.
The last few strands of school days, the exams and I'm still trying to get her.

I just need to get this anxiety away from me, for now.

"Do nto angry with me on days I do not remember you, and we both know they will come. "
- Allie

Thursday, June 4, 2009

Where will amazing happen this year?

Where will amazing happen this year?
The question that's everyone been asking.
And I've seen amazing happen so many times.

One of 'em in Jameer Nelson's recovery. Amazing.
He is now back playing for the magics.
I love it.

And another one, will be in God's hands.
Without him, I wouldn't have done the miracle-like things that I have been doing.
Without the power of the rosary, I wouldn't have the patience neither the comfort that I have right now.

And one more, will be the people who helped me out with the party from yesterday.
Amazing.

More amazing? Our projects. Egotistic Productions. Amazing.

What else can I say?

Bah.

Bah, this is gay. I wake up feeling shitty and sick. I don't even know why. I feel so exhausted and I don't feel like moving at all. I might not go to school and just stay at home. Depends on what I'm feeling later on when I'm getting ready. I can't afford not go to school... but at the same time, I can't afford to go to school and not listen to anything since my head will be spinning the whole time. Bah, I don't know. It would've been such a waste to go to school. But yeah, I'm dead tired.

I think it's all because of sleeping late last night and all.
And thinking about stuffs.
Stupid thinking.
I swear, why was thinking ever thought of.
It's like reading..

"Why do people read? Why can't they juust speak?!"
LOLOL ! ahahaha

And I'm back to listening to Brown Eyed Blues.
Bah, the whole fam is down. Recession? ahh
Stupid economy.

Anyway, I found a really dope song by Aj Rafael and Marilu Bustamante.
Realize the sarcasm of the song or else you just failed listening to this song LOL


Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Success !

Yes, thanks for such a successful plan. For the people who came and for the people who helped me carry out this plan. Thank you so much. I would've typed all of your names but it would've been a list. But thank you anyway. You guys are amazing.

I'd like to take this moment though, to thank my one and only, Angelo Lezada. Thanks bruh for good looking out and sticking through with shit. Man, I feel bad that you always pay for my food.. and I always seem to be dragging you around the world. It feels nice though to have a mission buddy. Good things. (Y) Thanks so much. But I'm sorry to tell you... I'm not gay... I know that will break your heart but... I'm so sorry.. :(

And lastly, such a great poet came through my mind. Good words.

'The big pains and sufferings that you have right now are only small sacrifices for tomorrow.'

And I guess so. But overall, at least I still have patience? :) ahaha

Edit-

God help me.
Joshua 1:9

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

June 2nd, 2008

What can I say? I am amazing. Can't wait.

Monday, June 1, 2009

June First.

Okay. So.

Sleep at 2:00 AM.
Why?
I have no idea at all.
I am now in a state of trance where I have no idea what's happening around me. Fail.
But yeah, s'all goods.
Almost there (Y)

Currently Listening To: Brown Eyed Blues - Adrian Hood
I swear, I've been listening to this song for the past.. 2-5 days now lol
I have no idea why. Kim got me so into it. I think the song came from one of the Madea Movies.

And... yeah, it's officially the first day of June.
Yay for June and the... summer time !
And aiming for my sister's prediction? Lol.
Sometimes, she can predict a lot of things and most of 'em actually comes true.
Scares me.

But yeah, I'm heartless :)