Bah.

I realized why I keep on failing.
Though realizing why, is only half of how to get there.

Well, as I was going about my boredom, I realized why I'm failing hard.
I think it's because I'm really scared.

And I'm not giving my best, nor even trying.
And despite that, my morals WANT me to try.
My heart and spirit, doesn't want me to try.
And now, my whole body is in this state of dilemma or conundrum.
Which leads to my various illness-es that is coming from out of nowhere and my exhaustion.

I really have no idea how to deal with this.
It's like, I have to go through this when I don't even know what to do, or how to do it, or what I'm supposed to be doing.

I feel like I'm just failing this thing real hard.